Do not tell me not to let this steal my joy

I have been the chaser

The wooer

The rescuer of my joy for 33 years

I have watched it struggle and resist

inside the closed hands of men

I have watched it spin out from inside my body

Dart across the continent

I’ve lassoed it back to my chest

Thousands of nights

Tucked it inside

And sung it to sleep

Do not tell me that my rage steals

My peace

I’ve seen them dance together

In one drive through the mountains

Windows down, breathe full of cedar

Lupine, sweet pea, Shasta daisies

And gasping sobs

Throat sticky with pollen

And impotent words

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